my home water birth - if you're curious about where I'm coming from!
For me, my dream and biggest hope is to give birth to Jiggly-Bean in the most comfortable place in the world, with people I either really love and/or deeply trust, with as little unnecessary intervention as possible. The following film nicely summarises everything that has gone into my thinking on how and why I'd like to give birth at home, with a bouncy ball, an inflatable hot tub, my man, one of my best friends and my midwife. Francoise sent it at the perfect moment... 38 weeks... sometime in the next month Antoine and I are going to have a Jiggly-Bean in our hands at last!
Francoise, together with a number of my closest friends, the couple of midwives I've met and even complete strangers have had an enormously positive effect on me. When I say I'm hoping for a home water birth their eyes and face instantly light up! They don't need to say anything more, because they're expression has said it all already! But their positive words of encouragement have also meant such a lot to me given the weight of the conventional pressure of society and the media which influences so many of the people I meet.
I have had quite strongly negative reactions from people who are obviously quite shocked about my personal birthing choices. Many equate what is 'normal' today with what is 'best' and rarely take the time to critically engage and question this for themselves. Their questioning of me has been hard at times and caused sleepless nights - but this has helped me also to critically evaluate my thoughts and beliefs. In the end this has been invigorating as it has helped me to understand myself better, to consolidate my ideas and affirm my self-belief - which is absolutely vital for the unique experience I'm about to go through.
I'm not going to say that I won't experience discomfort, pain, doubt and quite possibly fear - but I'm not going to move ahead believing this is the sum total of what I can expect from giving birth. I'm sure it's going to be a rollercoaster which has its highs and lows. Maybe like surfing a wave - when you get lifted and fly with the power of the water and then you get wiped out tumbling uncontrollably over and over with water, salt and sand going up your nose, down your throat and in your eyes! Funny thing is - you still go back for more!
The prospect of having an ecstatic or even orgasmic birth would be the absolute cherry on the cake... but I think that all depends on what happens in the moment! I can do my best to create the ambiance and choose the company for the journey - but what actually happens - well we'll have to wait and see and just go with the flow! As the last invitee, Jiggly Bean, might have its own ideas on how to make an entry into this crazy wonderful world! I'll just do my best to 'dar la luz' or 'give the light' in what I believe is the gentlest possible way...