No sweet tooth have I, but going on a sugar-free diet is one sure way to stop you thinking twice about the virtues of creating something so absolutely off-limit.
So in the cupboard there was a see-through container which was half-filled with a variety of smashed up biscuits which bizarrely kept on winking at me. So as we had friends coming it was the perfect excuse to remove temptation by do something I never do - make a dessert!
Mmmm... smashed up biscuits... some fresh, but battered-looking bananas... what does that tell you? Here you can get "dulce de leche" which is ready made condensed milk toffee in a jar. But it was a bank holiday and there was none competing for space in the cupboard. However, there was some liquid Caramel (bought for those créme caramels/flans de huevo, never made, although talked about for the last six years) and that lonely and almost full tin of Golden Syrup and of course Honey. The forgotten tin of syrup landed first in my hands, uncovering that tin of Custard Powder (spot the nostalgia items). I hadn´t got any cream (lactose also being off the list) and the thought of combining my all time favourite of Bananas and Custard (which my Grandma always used to make me) into my own take on two classics got those sweet tasting buds quivering in anticipation!
Without little further ado, the rest of the biscuits were beaten into submission (they are the enemy, after all!), mixed with some marge and stamped down to cover the bottom of a tart dish. A generous drizzle of Golden Syrup, a layer of sliced bananas with a little lemon juice squeezed over, followed by lashings of custard (made with "bad" milk and the last scrapings from the disconsolate sugar bowl), finally dusted with Cinnamon and Chocolate powder... then left to chill out in the fridge.
So there you have it Bastard Pie, the bastard child of Bananas and Custard and Banoffee Pie!
Sorry, no photo - it disappeared like snow in the sun!